learn to love yourself, darling
by bigbadlawyerdad
Summary: a self-indulgent hobo phoenix/college phoenix smut i wrote combining multiple ideas into one, that turned into something kinda emotional. but it was mostly because college feenie needs a top and nobody has thought of this (on ao3 under the same user!)


he could barely remember how it'd gotten to this point.

his face was dusted with pink, eyes half lidded as his counterpart dragged kisses and nips down the length of his neck.

needless to say, he was having a difficult time focusing on the work at hand. a paper due in a few days, he just had two whole pages left- but he couldn't concentrate.

now, to explain his current situation- his memory was hazy and swimming in a thick fog of lust, but he tried to recall what he could. he'd just gone out for a little for a break, deciding to maybe get some coffee and pastries to nibble on the way back- and he'd bumped into... himself?

the man had looked eerily similar to him, though there were obvious things that set the two of them apart, like how the older-looking one had stubble growing on his chin, his eyes slightly bruised from countless sleepless nights. he wore a dark grey jacket with blue stripes on either arm, and a teal beanie that read "papa" in hot pink on the side, a cute little button to go with it.

though his hair was covered, he could tell it was still him from those mismatched eyes.

"sorry," the elder had immediately apologized, until said man froze in spot when they locked eyes. "what the fuck..." he whispered, and briefly, feenie had thought the same, but didn't voice it.

though he knew the answer, he still couldn't help but ask. "... who... who are you?" came his soft voice, and the older male blinked, then smirked. "ah. i'm not exactly sure if i should tell you. don't want to fuck anything up," he simple answered, a soft chuckle huffing from him. "but then again... there is the butterfly effect theory..."

the term was vaguely familiar to feenie, but he didn't give it much thought, merely tilting his head, brows furrowed. "what do you mean...?" he questioned, but the scruffy-looking man just shook his head. "so naïve... just give it about 10 or 11 years, and you'll find out," he laughed.

and then his eyes raked over the younger male, taking in his younger self's appearance. the other just glanced down, fiddling with the pastry he had in hand, feeling scrutinized under his gaze. "um- i, uh, i have to go- i have a paper due in a few days and i still have two pages left, s-so-"

"that's fine," he cut him off before he could go on. "but... maybe i should go, if only to help," his smirk was now gone, replaced by a genuine smile. feenie thought about it. i mean, he had a pretty good hold on it, but extra help was always appreciated... he nodded. "okay, if you want to," he now lifted up his head and looked him in the eyes once again, before turning on his heel and beginning to walk out the door.

"you can just call me nick, by the way," was the last thing he remembered before everything got lost.

he was brought back to reality by a particularly rough suck right behind his ear, making him keen quietly. warm breath fanned out over his ear as nick chuckled again. "oh? you like that, huh?" his voice was husky, turning feenie's legs into jelly. he inhaled shakily. "p-please, let me finish-"

"you have all the time in the world, don't you?" nick interrupted, his hand sliding from behind the college student and rubbing his arm comfortingly. "look, i won't force you into this if you're not comfortable, but something tells me otherwise..."

as if to demonstrate his words, his hand trailed down, down, down- and gently cupped the bulge in the younger's pants, smirking yet again as he got an audible whine. "now, do you want it or not...?"

feenie gulped. he wouldn't be able to get anything done what with these distracting hormones, and after all, he _did _have a few days to get this done, so...

"i want it," his whisper was deadly quiet, nick inching closer to him. "ah? i didn't hear that, would you mind repeating it for me, pup?" he teased, knowing full well what he was doing to the other. it earned him a sudden sucked-in breath, giving him a moment to collect himself. "i... i-i said i want it."

"that's a good boy," he praised the younger, and swiveled the chair around so he faced nick, sitting down on the bed and leaning back, patting his lap. "come here, sweetie," he coaxed the other, nodding as he stood up.

feenie walked the short distance from his computer chair to nick's lap, sitting down gingerly, his face heating up when he felt something poke his ass. nick just ignored any embarassment from it, and cupped feenie's cheeks before pressing his lips to his younger counterpart's, slowly and languidly kissing him. feenie was not... so experienced in this department, and so nick took the lead, managing to open up the shy boy's lips and invade his mouth. it wasn't the most soft and sweet of kisses, but not rough, either. he nibbled on the younger's bottom lip, earning him a groan and a wiggle.

his hands found their way to feenie's hips, pushing him down onto his lap and grinding up as they kissed, rubbing up and down his thighs. "you're so eager for me, pup," he murmured in between kisses. he seperated from the kiss, a thin trail of saliva connecting the two before he spoke again. "look at you, so ready to be touched... squirming around like that, searching for something to make you feel good," a hand moved from his thigh to his bulge again, rubbing it up and down with his palm, this time earning a choked whine. he laughed. "aw, how cute... god, i just want to ravish you. make you beg to be fucked, overstimulate you and hear you whine and keen for me to stop. i want to just pound into your cute little ass and make you cry from how good you feel."

this worked up the younger male even more, his own hand diving down to hold nick's- until it was stopped by another. "ah ah ah, you'll be patient like the good little puppy you are," he chided him, voice firm but words and eyes soft, intertwining their fingers and pulling his hand down onto the bed. his college self could be so... _cute. _even if he hated how much of a crybaby he was then, nick had to admit he wouldn't hesitate in giving him the sweetest aftercare he could.

"on your knees," was his next order; feenie obediently did as he was told, clambering off of his lap and kneeling down in between nick's legs, who had already undone his pants. there was that smirk again. "i'm sure you know what to do, pup... go on, be my good little boy, won't you?" he purred. feenie merely nodded, pulling down nick's pants and boxers, which in turn frees his erection, making the elder groan in relief. "there we go, that's better..."

he placed a hand on the top of feenie's hand, running it through his hair until he reached the back, grasping a handful. "make me feel good, yeah? use your cute little mouth and tongue to make me cum. and if you even dare think of touching yourself-" he paused, tightening his grip on his hair. "you'll be in for a surprise." there was that husky tone again, the one that made him feel oh _so _submissive. "are we clear, pup?"

"crystal," came his tiny reply, and the grip lessened on his head, absentmindedly stroking some of the hair back there. "good. good boy."

instead of replying anymore, he placed his lips on the head of nick's cock, kissing it with a feather light touch, repeating this action all the way down until he reached the base, where he went back up and licked a stripe up the erection. he heard him sigh, and finally decided to wrap his lips around his cock, hollowing his cheeks and bobbing his head up and down, tongue swirling and licking around him.

"_fuck _yes, baby," he growled, still stroking his hair. "you're so _good _at this. don't stop." he spread his legs further apart, allowing feenie more room to work with; feenie's arms looped under his thighs, latching his hands onto them and gripping to keep himself steady as he took him into his mouth. for a moment, he pulled back, licking at him again with little kitten licks, then bringing his mouth back down on him. he looked up to see if he was doing any good, and was met with the sight of nick's head leaning back in pleasure. feenie moaned quietly and decided to make him feel even better.

he made sure to take a deep breath, and then hold it as he sunk his head down lower onto the shaft, swallowing around the length now buried in his throat, nose pressed against nick's soft curls at the base, staying there to adjust. nick held the back of his head tightly, resisting the urge to just start fucking the younger man's mouth. "s-shit... _fuck, _you're such a good boy, you're doing so good," he mumbled, stroking his cheek gently. "taking my cock so well..."

feenie shivered from his praise, smiling as best he could from his position. nick glanced down and felt his heart warm up a little, moving his hand from the back of his hair to just run through the soft raven locks. "such a good boy, such a good _pup... _you want me to fuck your mouth?" he asked, getting a drawn out whine in return. he took it as an affirmation, and finally, canted his hips, growling. "you're so good to me, so obidient- after this you're gonna get a reward, i promise."

tears fell down the college student's face, bucking his own hips desperately, resisting every urge to rub himself through his pants. he loved the feeling of his throat being used and fucked, apparently- this was a new discovery for him. instead, he raised a hand to play with his balls, using his fingers to roll them around in his hands; they felt so _heavy, _and he knew he'd be getting filled just from the feel. this only served to make nick go faster, of course.

"shit, baby- i'm gonna cum- you want it on your face-?" he grit out through his teeth, peeking down at him with a radiant blue eye. feenie nodded as best as he could, and nick pulled his shaft out of his mouth, instead stroking it while feenie sat there with his mouth wide open, tongue sticking out. his strokes wrre quick and messy, but eventually got him to completion, shouting again as he shot thick loads of cum out and onto his younger counterpart's face. now he looked pretty _and _cute.

feenie licked his lips, swallowing what little he could, still gazing up at nick with those wide, innocent eyes. the 32 year old had taken a moment to sit there, letting himself ride down from his euphoric high, his breathing going back to normal as he opened his eyes to look at the mess that was a 21 year old phoenix wright. the boy sat there with a content smile on his face, happy to help nick- but he still needed to be taken care of himself.

"lay down on your back- i'll be back," he patted the younger's head and made his way to the bathroom, going to get something to clean feenie up. said male climbed up onto the bed, lying on his back like he was told.

and how could he resist the urge to touch himself with no one there?

he unbuckled and undid his own pants, pushing them down, then reaching down to stroke himself until he heard footsteps, and a voice that was much closer than he had presumed. "feenie..." uh-oh, he'd been caught- his eyes hesitantly looked over to nick, who had a frown on his face. "bad boy. maybe i should think of some punishment..."

"no!" he shouted, sitting straight up and putting his hands on either side of him. "i-i'll be good, i-i promise-" he begged, _desperate _to just cum already. "hmm..." the elder began, seemingly thinking about it. "you promise?"

"_pinky swear."_

he heard a curse and a laugh. "god, you're so fucking cute... i love teasing you," nick said, and approached feenie. "now hold still, let me wipe you off," he continued, and sat down next to the college student, wiping his face with a wet cloth, and letting him sip water from the cup he got from the bathroom. "there we go, that's a good boy..."

he set it down on the bedside table, as well as the damp, dirty cloth, and turned back to feenie, tugging at his scarf and sweater, pulling it up and over his head and tossing it on the floor elsewhere- and then he'd covered himself, suddenly self-conscious of how he looked.

nick had forgotten about this part of his life up until now, and it hit him like a frieght train. he was even unsure if he wanted _him _to see himself.

"hey, hey, no, don't do that," he pried at the man's arms, who kept moving them back in place. "feenie. sweetheart."

this caught his attention, making him look back to the older male. "... what?" his voice was soft, quiet, unsure- so _full _of insecurity- and he wanted to hold him just then. give him the love he really deserved way back when, treat him the way he deserved to be treated. "it's okay. you don't have to cover yourself. that's one thing you need to learn-" he leaned in close, breath mingling with feenie's- "- you are beautiful. your body is beautiful, and don't let anyone make you think otherwise. _love yourself."_

and with that, nick closed the gap between them, kissing him long and slow and _passionate, _arms coming up to gather him into his lap again, and prying his mouth open again. teeth and tongue clashed together, and slowly, _slowly, _feenie was becoming a submissive mess yet again. he let his guard down, and nick trailed kisses from his mouth down to his neck, sucking dark bruises. "you're so pretty."

_kiss_

"so beautiful."

_another kiss._

"you're not just skin and bones. you're fit for your age-"

_kiss._

"- and it's only natural. _don't let what others say get into your head."_

he mouthed at his chest now, pushing feenie back down onto the pillows, who had tears in his eyes, quickly wiping them. "but i-"

"hush," nick murmured, leading a trail of kisses down his chest to his stomach, taking extra time to show love to that body part. he remembered how much he had hated it. "don't speak. just let me give you the one thing you deserve."

he heard audible crying and quiet sobbing from him, and stopped for a moment to wipe his tears. "i love the you that you became, and soon you'll learn to too. i promise you." the young man just nodded, wiping at his face himself, and then getting up and leaning in close again to steal another kiss from his counterpart, who gladly obliged, pushing him back down, gently.

"you're such a good, sweet boy. let me make you feel better..." he spoke while they broke apart for a moment to breathe, capturing his lips in a deep kiss again, determined to make the young one a whining _mess. _his hand slid down to feenie's still-erect cock, rubbing his thumb over the tip and getting a hitch of the breath and a buck of his hip. he slowly moved his hand in a vertical motion, over and over, making feenie moan into the kiss. "n... nick..."

"does that feel good? hm?" he questioned, breaking apart again, slipping back into his domineering role quite easily. "does my little pup want more?" he smirked again; he loved the effect it had on the sub. feenie just nodded, and nick pumped quicker for a few moments before stopping. "roll over. where's your lube?"

"mmh... nightstand drawer, in the front," he managed to answer, nick finding the object rather quickly. he flicked the bottlecap open, and squirted a good amount on his fingers, making sure to spread it onto the others.

"you ready?"

"mhmm."

nick circled the tight ring of flesh with his pointer finger, spreading it over his entrance before pushing in, making feenie gasp. "shh," he merely hushed him, stroking his cock again as he pumped his finger in and out slowly. "i'll make you feel _so _good, don't be scared," he comforted, and feenie nodded. he trusted him- what wasn't there to trust about himself?

slowly, he added a second finger, the man beneath him whimpering. nick pressed his lips to the back of his neck as he scissored him open, whispering sweet praise into his ear. "you're my good little pup, so obedient and so willing to help others, taking my fingers so well, i can only imagine what you'd feel like around my cock." feenie was pratically preening from the attention, letting out little moans every now and then.

"third finger," he suddenly uttered, nick nodding. "you're sure?"

"yes."

ever so slowly, he pushed in his ring finger, immediately spreading him open again so that he was loose enough for him.

"nnh... hnh... nick," he whined, pushing his hips up. "fuck me. fuck me already, please, i want it so bad, please, _please," _he begged, nick's erection jumping from his words. "need it, need your cock, need to be filled-"

he slipped his fingers out, wiping them on the covers of the bed. "turn back around," he simply commanded, the young man obeying his order and lying flat on his back, looking up at nick. "you're sure you're ready? should we make a safe word?"

"mhm.. how about defense?"

a laugh. "yeah, okay, let's go with that," nick was smiling down at him. how ironic he would have picked that word.

nick positioned himself over his entrance, pushing in slowly and listening to the drawn out moan feenie gave, letting the younger one hold his hand tightly for comfort. he finally bottomed out, and let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. feenie was already panting, nick rubbing his free hand up and down his body. "relax... shh, i've got you, just relax. don't be scared."

it seemed to help a bit, making the student breathe in time with him, stroking the back of his hand that was being held with his thumb. "... move," feenie eventually mumbled, and so he did; thrusting his hips in and out shallowly and slowly, letting him get used to the drag against his walls, and the feeling of having someone inside of him. it was hard to keep himself under control, but he could do it.

he raised his hips to meet nick's earlier, and he took it as a sign that he could go quicker- so he did. he started to set up a quick pace, making feenie whimper and moan quietly, nick sighing from pleasure. "god, you're so fucking tight, you feel so good around my cock," he praised him, swiping a piece of hair away from feenie's eyes. "look at you, just lying there and looking pretty... my sweet little pup."

feenie bit his lip and arched his back a little, shivering yet again from his praise. "you like that, don't you? when i call you my good little boy or my little pup... how cute, a praise kink. but it's only true..." he murmured, leaning down, close to his ear and whispering lowly, then nibbling at his earlobe. he suddenly stopped- feenie huffed a little- and switched positions, lying on his back instead while feenie was on top.

"ride me."

his command was simple, and even though this was his first time having sex, he knew what he'd meant. he leaned forward, placing his hands on nick's chest as he bounced up and down at at the same pace they'd set earlier, looking up and conveniently seeing a mirror. damnit, he must have seen it too-

"keep watching yourself. don't look away, do you understand?" nick said from below him. "but it's..." he trailed off. "no. i know it's hard, but you _are _beautiful- and i want you to see that. you deserve so much more than you think, and self-love is one of those things. not loathing your body is one of those things."

he bounced on him quicker, still staring at the mirror and watching his body bob up and down on nick's cock. he found that... he didn't hate himself so much ike this, and actually smiled at his reflection for once. yes. he was beautiful. he just needed someone to help him see that. of course there would still be his bad days, none of this would automatically be fixed within a day- it'd always linger, but for right now, he was happy with his body for once.

yet again, he was brought back to the present by a change of angle, gasping as feenie felt white-hot pleasure course throughout his body. nick growled, switching positions again, laying feenie on his back yet again and pounding hard and fast into him. "looks like i found that little sweet spot, huh? yeah? you like that, don't you?"

feenie was a babbling, crying mess, legs wrapped around nick's waist as he pounded into him. god, it felt so so so so _so _fucking good and he wished it would never end. the bed creaked with nick's effort. "fuck, holy shit, you're so tight-" feenie let out loud moans, reaching for nick's hand, the man helping him by grabbing it and intertwining their fingers yet again. "good boy, good boy, such a good boy- yeah, scream for me, just like that-"

"isssh sho good- sho good-! dont stop- love your cock~!" he shouted, tears of pleasure pouring from his eyes. "keep pounding me- ah, ahn~ haaah~!"

"i'm gonna cum soon baby, you ready? you ready to be filled up like the cum dumpster you are?" nick certainly knew his way around dirty talk, if feenie's shouting was anything to go by. "yesh, yesh~ i'm your little cum dumpster~ fill me up an' eat me out~"

it wasn't long before nick reached his climax, grabbing feenie's hips and slamming them into his at the last second, and the feeling of his cum flowing in him made feenie climax as well, white ropes reaching up to his chest and nearly his chin, eyes rolled back and his tongue out as he regained his breath and came down from his high. nick kissed every part of his body as he could while feenie was being brought back down to earth.

the younger man's vision finally came back, his face returning to that of a normal one- he was absolutely _spent, _and couldn't move anymore. nick chuckled, gently stroking his cheek. "so adorable..."

he pulled out of feenie, tongue sticking out at the cum that flowed out of his ass, grabbing the cloth from earlier and cleaning that up, then deciding to throw that into a dirty clothes basket, getting up to grab another. he was sure his younger self would be okay by himself for 2 minutes at least.

he came back to feenie lying down properly, head on the pillows as he stared at nick with a smile, making him laugh. "what?"

"nothing~" he chirped, and relaxed more once nick started to clean him up. "just really happy...~"

"oh yeah? whatever for?" nick questioned, throwing that cloth aside as well, rifling through his drawers for some underwear for the naked 21 year old. "because you helped me today... i didn't even know i needed it, but, you made things a bit more bearable."

now _that _made his heart melt.

"it's the least i could do," he replied, picking out a pair of plain white underwear and walking back over to the bed. "lift up your hips."

feenie nodded and nick slipped them on easily enough, then decided to throw off all his clothes, leaving him in his underwear; he placed the beanie on the nightside table, and saved whatever was left of feenie's essay before shutting the laptop down and closing it, and climbing into bed with him.

he hadn't minded at all when his younger self cuddled up to him, nuzzling under his chin; he merely wrapped an arm around him in return, rubbing slow circles into his back. it was silent for a moment, until feenie broke the ice.

"what's that necklace?"

he belatedly realized during the heat of the moment, he'd forgotten to take it off- oh god, he hoped he wouldn't remember this when he opened the locket again.

"... you'll find out in about 10 or 11 years. i can't tell you because i don't want to fuck up your timeline more than i might already have, but it won't be long."

he stayed silent in response, but nodded.

"... i also might not be here tomorrow morning, but... you'll always have a way to remember me. i assume that i'm going back to my time, at least. but still, i thought i should let you know instead of just... disappearing."

again, feenie nodded at his words. "i understand."

he couldn't resist smooching the top of his head, his forehead, his nose and his cheeks- and then pulling him back under his chin, stroking feenie's hair. "sleep."

and so he did, closing his eyes as he listened to nick's heartbeat, slowly fading off to sleep, nick doing the same as his eyes slid shut.

the next morning, feenie awoke to a note on what would be nick's pillow.

_i had a great time last night. maybe i'll try to figure something out to come back soon, but for now this is goodbye, and good luck with your future._

_p.s.: i'm glad i could help you love yourself. you'll eventually drop the loathing sometime later, but for now i know it isn't 100% gone. but i'm still glad i could help a little. lord knows i needed it._

_\- love, future phoenix wright_

he smiled warmly. he'd keep this forever.


End file.
